Kevin Dixon: The tragic life of Torquay's Elizabeth Croker

On 24 July 1875 an inquest was held in Torquay into the violent death of Elizabeth Croker. 

Elizabeth was “a very hard-working and industrious woman” and she lived with a man called Buckpitt in a lodging house in Pimlico. Buckpitt was a lumper, who unloaded trawlers on the harbourside, and the two “lived pretty comfortably together, except at times when he was drunk”.

Just before she died Buckpitt had been seen to kick and strike Elizabeth across the face with his dinner of bread and meat wrapped in a cloth. Elizabeth cried out, “Why did you do that for after my hard day’s work?”

It wasn’t the first time. On another occasion Buckpitt had struck Elizabeth in the face with his hand, knocking her to the floor. 

After this last assault Elizabeth complained of a pain in her left side and died two days later. However, not being able to establish a link between the attack and Elizabeth’s death, the Jury returned a verdict of ‘Death from Natural Causes’ and Buckpitt walked free.

Nevertheless, Buckpitt was chastised by the Coroner who warned him about his conduct. The Coroner believed Buckpitt was able to act “in a proper manner when sober, but his conduct when tipsy was very bad. If Buckpitt should ever be allied to another woman, he hoped he would treat her kindly.”

The sad death of Elizabeth tells us a great deal about attitudes to relationships and domestic violence in Victorian Torbay.

During the nineteenth century marriage was based on deep-rooted traditions and seen as a crucial institution for upholding social order.

Gender roles were clearly defined, with distinct expectations for husbands and wives. Men were seen as the breadwinners and heads of the household, responsible for providing financial stability and making important decisions. 

Women were expected to be dutiful wives and devoted mothers, with a focus on domestic duties and child-rearing. A woman’s worth was consequently often judged by her ability to maintain a comfortable home, while always being dependent on a man: first as a daughter and later as a wife.

It’s worth noting that Elizabeth’s lifestyle wasn’t part of that ideal. She wasn’t married, was poor and ‘living in sin’ in the wrong part of town. She was also without children.

Having children, particularly male heirs, was essential for continuing family lines and securing an inheritance. In 1902 Emma Drake in ‘Maternity Without Suffering’ made this very clear. A woman should “dedicate her life to conception and maternity, without which she had no right to be called a wife.”

It is in these kind of marriage and guidance manuals that we can see past attitudes to relationships.

Elizabeth Lanfear’s 1824 book ‘Letters to Young Ladies on Their Entrance into the World’ instructs women never to complain.  She should remain dignified, allow her husband to prevail in everyday arguments, and “bear and forbear” even when it came to infidelity and marital rape.

This was a profoundly Christian society with scripture seen as the sole truly reliable guide. In 1837 William Alcott’s ‘The Young Wife, or Duties of Woman in the Marriage Relation’ God’s plan was explained, “There was a time, in the history of our world, when woman did not exist.  Man was alone until almighty Power called forth woman and presented her to man. She was to be man’s assistant.”

Reinforcing this traditional argument, Arthur Freeling wrote in 1839 in ‘The Young Bride’s Book: Being Hints for Regulating the Conduct of Married Women’, “A sensible woman, to preserve the peace and secure the affections of her husband, will often sacrifice her own inclinations to his.”

If marital strife did occur it was unlikely to be the fault of the husband. Men just couldn’t help themselves, “Men are less called and less accustomed than women, even from their earliest youth, to exercise the virtues of self-denial or self-control; and, being naturally more sensual, and, by the laws of decorum and the usages of society, less restricted in the indulgence of their appetites and the gratification of their passions.”

Domestic violence was consequently mostly blamed on the woman. The supposed offences could be indiscipline, talking back, lack of affection, undermining her husband, or just poor cooking. Hence, some domestic violence wasn’t just tolerated, it was even seen as necessary, the husband having the right to ‘moderate correction’.

What happened behind closed doors was seen to be a private affair. Few police officers would become involved unless the violence was extreme, or there was a public nuisance. Yet, while the law offered little recourse, communities often did frown on violence in the home. Abusive men could be publicly shamed by crowds gathering outside the house to bang pots and pans.

The lack of legal recourse was the outcome of the idea that marriage entailed the husband taking on all responsibility for their wives, including financial support and liability for debts. Before the passing of the 1882 Married Property Act, when a woman got married her wealth was passed to her husband; if she worked her earnings also belonged to him.

Nevertheless, some legislation did improve the situation. In 1853 a law made the punishment for ‘wife-beating’ up to 6 months in prison. In 1878 further legislation allowed a woman to obtain a separation order from a magistrate if her husband was violent.

Then in 1891 it was established that no person had a right to imprison another, not even if they were husband and wife. When Emily Jackson left her husband Edmund, he abducted and imprisoned her. Emily’s family successfully obtained a court order forcing her release.

Leaving an unhappy or violent marriage was not a good option. The Matrimonial Causes Act of 1857 gave men the right to divorce their wives on the grounds of adultery; but not the woman. Once divorced, any children became the man's property and the mother could be prevented from seeing them.

Though the law did gradually make divorce easier during the twentieth century this was still a male-dominated society based on respectability and conformity. After marriage very few women worked, it was unusual for women to go to university, and schools prepared girls for looking after their husband, their children and the house. And so, if a woman wanted to leave a marriage, she often had no money of her own and no career.

However, political, social, and cultural changes accelerated from the 1960s onwards. More women entered the workforce, continuing education became possible, morality evolved, the influence of religion declined, and the creation of the welfare state gave women more options. All these advances towards equality had to be fought for.

In 1971 Chiswick Women's Aid opened the world’s first safe house for women and children and in 1976 the first Rape Crisis Centre opened in North London. By the late twentieth century, women who suffered abuse were seen to be entitled to support, a refuge as a place of safety, and the protection of the police and the courts.

Today we see real progress in public and professional attitudes towards domestic abuse, and the criminal justice system has come a long way towards supporting victims. Nevertheless, much more needs to be done to relegate domestic abuse and sexual violence to our past.

From 25 November to 10 December Torbay will be taking part in the annual 16 Days of Action Against Domestic Violence. During these 16 days, individuals, organisations, and communities across the Bay will come together to advocate for a world free from domestic violence and sexual abuse.

As part of that ongoing campaign let us remember the sad life and tragic death of Torquay’s Elizabeth Croker and make sure that there are no more Elizabeth’s out there…