Torbay community leader David: 'I was close to ending it all after wife's death'

A well-known Torbay community figure has opened his heart to back a national suicide-prevention charity with his own personal story of anguish.

The Baton of Hope is being hosted in Torbay later this year – the only place in the South West to do so. It was devised by a suicide prevention charity as a parallel icon to the Olympic torch, but one that celebrates mental rather than physical wellbeing.

One of the earliest and biggest advocates of the national awareness campaign is David Gledhill who has revealed for the first time how close he was to taking his own life after the sudden death of his long time wife and partner Carole.

David, communications and marketing manager of Torbay Communities which works for and brings together hundreds of groups and organisations in the Bay's voluntary, community and social enterprise sectors, says he 'could see no future' when his wife-of-39 years died in 2022.

He says: "The grief ripped through me and I could see no future.  Put simply, I did not want to continue living without her.

Everything was bleak, meaningless and futile. The alternative was very attractive. I researched ways of ending it all and even narrowed down the options. I was drinking heavily and slipped easily into a seemingly bottomless depression. I felt alone and desperate.

"But I was not alone, I had friends and colleagues who not only spotted the signs, they encouraged me to talk about it, to explore my innermost thoughts and in doing so, they gently, firmly and lovingly steered me through it.

"It wasn’t easy for any of us. There were setbacks aplenty, but slowly they made me change my perspective and I chose to live."

The national event will see the baton carried across the UK and Torbay will host a one-day leg of the tour on Tuesday September 30.

Suicide survivors and those bereaved by suicide are being offered the chance to help carry the baton in honour of their own survival or in memory of a loved one lost.

The tour will be passing through 20 towns and cities, starting in Blackpool on September 1 and ending in London on October 10.

Suicide has long been a taboo subject, but no more, and it is now recognised that talking about suicide can save lives – making suicide prevention everybody’s business.

Every year around 7,000 people in the UK die by suicide, including an average of 20 people, 75 per cent of them men, in Torbay. Sadly, that makes the Bay one of the areas with the highest suicide rate in England, and it is estimated that 135 people are impacted by each one.

David Gledhill says: "A staggering one in 15 people will attempt suicide at some point and one in five experience thoughts of suicide. I was one of them.

"I raise this because it is important to realise that suicide isn’t inevitable. What works for one person, won’t work for everyone but with the right approach, resources, and support, suicide is preventable.

"It can be helpful to understand that people who have felt this way can go on to live full, healthy, and happy lives. People like me.

"A better understanding of suicide can help people who have been through it or are affected by suicide. But that can’t happen if we don’t talk about suicide.

"We need to reduce stigma, raise awareness, provide support, try to identify any warning signs or unusual behaviour and promote healthy coping mechanisms. That can only be achieved by talking about it.

"There is a simple mantra when approaching this subject – see, say and signpost. See – when someone might be suffering from suicidal thoughts and behaviour. Say – feel comfortable speaking about suicide in a supportive manner. Signpost – anyone suffering to the correct services and support."

David is also a presenter on community radio station Riviera FM and reveals: "Last week, before inviting Rachel Brett from Torbay Council’s public health department onto the Volunteer Show on Riviera FM I took a 20-minute suicide prevention course on the Zero Suicide Alliance website, which I can’t recommend highly enough."

The Baton of Hope is the brainchild of two bereaved fathers Mike McCarthy and Steve Phillip after they lost their sons to suicide.

It has a simple vision aspiring to a zero-suicide society, “a society where suicide and suicide prevention are openly and widely discussed, where we inspire hope through action, where people are suitably supported, and where everyone plays their part in realising this vision.”

To find out more about the Baton of Hope and apply to be a baton bearer, head to the Baton of Hope website. The closing date for applications is Monday, 31 March.

You can also follow the Baton of Hope Torbay Facebook page to get involved and receive the latest updates as they are announced.

David says: "Suicide is preventable and you could be the person that prevents it. If more people talk openly about mental health and suicide, spot any signs, ask the right questions and listen without judgment, we can all make a difference.

"And finally, to those friends and colleagues (you know who you are), THANK YOU."