Who is the worst boss you have ever worked for?

Ben Tisdall, of Riviera Mediation, explores difficulties in the workplace and how listening to colleagues and considering workplace mediation can help.

For this issue of the magazine I thought I would deal with the thorny subject of conflict at work. 

Recent changes in the law, following the last budget mean that employees are effectively getting many of the sorts of ‘rights’ that previously they would not have been entitled to until they had worked for an employer for two years. 

Our government has made sweeping changes which means on a day-to-day level for any of us in the workplace the world of work is going to be different.

Let’s face it, we all spend more time with colleagues than anyone else. Whereas this can be a pleasure, almost everyone I speak to has a story of a horrible boss, or colleague who once made their life hell. 

A quick question I put out on social media about bad experiences at work landed me with an avalanche of tales of people not being allowed to attend a loved one’s funeral, to really extreme behaviours that are just excused because a firm does not want to lose the skills that person has, or from an employees point of view simply they need the job, and put up with a terrible workplace, to keep food in their children’s mouths. 

So how do you deal with a problem at work, and when should you deal with it? 

The first part of that question should really be (a) do you want to stay working there, or if you are the employer, is this employee worth keeping? There are of course proper well-trodden grievance processes but ask yourself if the situation is not better off rescued at an early stage and can it in fact be improved?

I have encountered numerous work situations where a major problem can be turned round to actually transform the team at work and vastly improve both the environment and productivity. Last month, I wrote about the two academics I helped at a nearby University who went from not talking to each other (because, I think, one had been promoted above the other) to by halfway through the mediation day, going off and having lunch together, and by the end of the day, writing up a long document about ways of working with each other that would make their department better. 

The key there was providing them with a safe space for them to talk to both me individually, but also each other, with the freedom of it being confidential. The HR manager had been keen to be involved in the process, but I actually told her that the idea that they were being watched by HR, would in fact be a hindrance to resolution. 

Above all though, the art is really one of listening. Often colleagues do not feel confident to express how they really feel. If they properly and actively listen to each other, huge progress can be made. We all feel better when we have got things off our chest, and this allows me as a mediator to then ask the question: ‘Ok. How do we go about fixing things then?’ You would be surprised by the number of junior employees who have good suggestions as to ways to make a workplace better. However, when a work environment is bad it can be really bad. 

My colleague Liz Ashton, at The Society of Mediators, suggested that ‘I don’t think it’s always about individual bad experiences- I think a lot of companies are held back by myriads of micro- aggressions, that basically lead to erosion of trust over multiple occasions. 

These in my mind are mini power plays. It could be as simple as someone repeatedly not pitching up for a meeting and not being sufficiently proactive about notifying the other meeting attendees. 

It might be there are individual agendas and lack of team cohesion - colleagues not all pulling in the same direction. Clarity of direction is needed from the top of the tree. 

I’m convinced that the ideal solution is always honest and open dialogue, which isn’t always easy. Nip it in the bud - quickly. 

And the role of mediation is to support this - if the open dialogue goes pear shaped - then you know there is a safety blanket to fall on and knowing that I think more honest dialogue will occur’.

So how does this practically work? The reason we are approached by mainly employers, is they have a situation where a relationship between colleagues is not so bad they want to go down the more serious end of a grievance process, but they can’t find a way to improve things. 

We as mediators encourage ‘active listening’ and provide the opportunity for colleagues to be listened to properly. 

We always aim at the end of the half or full day session to get even a very basic written agreement, drawn up by the participants with a plan of how things are going to look going forward. 

Although the mediation itself, and everything said within it is confidential, the written agreement is not and can be used by the HR team as a way to work with those employees then to help implement their plan. 

After one session we very rarely need to return and more than 95 per cent of the time we do get a written plan of a better future at work. 

The final word should go to one of our mediators Donna Morcom, who is also an employment law solicitor with decades of experience: ‘A salary increase makes you happy once a year, but a happy work culture makes you happy every day. Too many employers and employees lose sight of this basic fact and think things can be fixed by a change in a job title, or a nice Christmas party. 

If you want your business to succeed, fixing relationships between your staff will increase profits far more than a new marketing initiative. Most people know this, but they need to actually do something about it. That’s where we can help.’ 

Ben Tisdall is a former solicitor and now runs Riviera Mediation www.rivieramediation.co.uk Email ben@rivieramediation.co.uk 

What’s unresolved conflict costing your business?  

Conflict in the workplace costs UK organisations approximately £28.5 billion annually (ACAS). Let that number sink in........

➡️  When conflict spirals into formal procedures, costs are more than three times than those resolved informally. 

➡️  Nearly 10 million people experience conflict at work. Over half of these suffered stress, anxiety or depression as a result. 

➡️  Just under 900,000 took time off work, nearly half a million resigned, and more than 300,000 employees were dismissed. 

Is there an alternative to formal processes when you're dealing with conflict?  

Absolutely, yes! It's called workplace mediation. ✅ 

Imagine an alternative to your managers' valuable time being tied up dealing with various complex stages of a formal process?

And yet, so many organisations opt for formal grievance and disciplinary processes without considering an alternative. 

I know that there's a time and a place for the formal approach. HOWEVER..... there are also plenty of opportunities to seek an early-stage resolution through the informal, flexible and voluntary mediation route. 

Mediation may well provide the first opportunity for participants to have a conversation with each other. That can be a massive step forward in itself.

‘The Art of Mediation’ as quoted by Jonathan Dingle FRSA FSOM: “Listen, listen, listen. Don't make matters worse."

This article appeared in the latest edition of Torbay Tomorrow. Want a copy? Email: tiegan.way@clearskypublishing.co.uk