Image by SamMino from Pixabay
What does the London Fashion week have in common with chimps?
Without wishing to offend every fashion editor and designer; quite a lot. Recently behavioural scientists studying a chimpanzee colony in Zambia made a fascinating observation. One chimp put grass in his ear and, within a few days, five others had followed. There appears to be no logical reason. Unlike corn, grass does not have ears.
The only possible explanation is fashion. Perhaps they can communicate by saying in chimp language, “darling, it is so you. Ryegrass is so last year. You must have meadow grass this year”. If they chose blue grass, they would even have matching music. For young homo sapiens at music festivals a different type of grass is popular.
If a male chimp covered himself in flowers would the other boys call him a chimp-pansy. The good news is that chimps could not follow the human fascination with tattoos. The tattoo claiming “I’m the king of the swingers” would not be seen under the hair
But does a blade of grass in the ear look any more silly than some of the fashionable earrings?
A similar behaviour has been seen in killer whales or orcas. They did not use grass, even sea grass. One orca was seen with a dead salmon on his head and the others soon followed. Again, it looks like a fashion, I’m not an expert on fashion but I suspect that a dead salmon on your head would not look as ridiculous as some of the hats worn on Derby ladies’ day, although it might get a bit smelly by the end of the day. Was salmon just this year’s “must have”. Perhaps last year they wore mackerel.
The grass and the salmon are both “organic” which would please the fashion trade although a vegan probably should not put a dead fish on their head. If we ask what it the point of sticking grass in your ear or putting a dead salmon on your head, we should also ask what is the point of fashionable hats? If they want to keep the rain off buy an umbrella.
There is a logic. It proves that this chimp or orca is member of the group, and it is cheaper than wearing a Torquay United shirt to a match.
Surprisingly I am not an expert on fashion. I cannot tell Chanel from the English Channel or Hermes from Evri. I thought Gucci was a type of pasta.
Although I have always claimed that I never followed fashion, looking back on some embarrassing photos from the 1970s I did wear flares and had long side boards. I looked like Abba after a visit to a charity shop. Later on, when fashions changed, one friend suggested that I only wore tight trousers so that, by the time I had retrieved my wallet, someone else had paid for the round.
In the early 2000s one of my sons asked whether he could look though my wardrobe and borrow some clothes. Did he admire my amazing fashion sense? “I’m going to a 70s night and wondered whether any of your clothes would be ok”.
Some of my friends who are all ‘of a certain age’ had shoulder length hair and beards, looking like rock stars. I never had that option. As a medical student I had to have short hair and wear a tie. We were told that, as doctors, people must have faith in us. We had to look the part, although as a student I did not know any medicine, which is quite a useful attribute for any budding doctor.
Do patients really worry over their doctor’s appearance? Surely being a competent doctor is slightly more important.
Today when most consultations are carried out online the doctor’s clothes are less important. On zoom they do not even need to wear trousers. But if the latest generation of doctors are to keep up with fashion should they put grass in their ears or a salmon on their head?
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