Exeter hospice urges support as family shares story of final Christmas made possible

Hospiscare is calling on the Exeter community to support its Christmas Appeal after a local volunteer shared the story of her husband’s final days, made possible by the charity’s care over the festive period.

The hospice, which supports people with terminal illnesses across Exeter, Mid and East Devon, continues its specialist services throughout Christmas. For many families, that support shapes their last memories together.

One of those families was Mary and her husband Trevor, long-standing Hospiscare volunteers. 

Last Christmas, the couple spent Trevor’s final days at home in Exeter, surrounded by children and grandchildren, after the charity arranged round-the-clock nursing and night cover.

“My birthday is on Christmas Day, so it’s always double celebrations in our house,” Mary said. “Our children and grandchildren were all here, and Hospiscare arranged for all the necessary cover so we could rest and enjoy being together.” 

She recalled a Hospiscare nurse reassuring her on Christmas Eve: “She said, ‘Trevor will be the true gentleman right to the end. I don’t think he’ll die on your birthday.’ She was right.”

Trevor died peacefully on Boxing Day with his family beside him. “He was the true gent right to the end,” Mary said.

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Both Mary and Trevor had supported Hospiscare since its early days more than 40 years ago, volunteering to drive patients to appointments in Exeter and helping raise funds for the charity’s first community nurse in Honiton. 

Trevor, a talented theatre organist who performed across the UK, the Netherlands and America, became ill after a prostate cancer diagnosis in 2023, with complications from diabetes and a previous stroke.

After repeated hospital visits, Mary turned to Hospiscare for support. “It was like a weight lifted,” she said. “They’re not scared of patients with complex needs – they see it all the time. They can’t add days, but they can add life to days.” 

She described how the charity responded even to middle-of-the-night calls when Trevor was struggling with pain, arranging emergency medication to keep him comfortable. 

Trevor was still able to play “Happy Birthday” on the piano for his granddaughter two weeks before he died.

Hospiscare said many local families will be facing a similar Christmas this year. Natalie Mear, who leads the charity’s East Devon Clinical Nurse Specialist team, said the service does not stop for Christmas and that community nurses and rapid-response teams will continue supporting patients so that their final days are “as comfortable, dignified and pain-free as possible.”

Just 24 per cent of Hospiscare’s funding comes from the NHS, meaning the charity must raise more than £10 million each year. 

Mary hopes her experience will encourage Exeter residents to support the appeal: “Hospiscare made the hardest time of our lives bearable, with so much kindness, dignity and love,” she said. 

“Please donate, if you can, to help them be there for others who need that same care and comfort.”