The Storyteller: The year of loss continues

The other week, I went to my third funeral this year!

In all my 62 years I’ve never been to so many, so close together! I know they say when you get to a certain age, the older generation are bound to start to pass more noticeably, but this is just too much.

I know of other friends and acquaintances that have suffered a loss during the past twelve months, but when it is a parent, it really makes you pause. However, when you know others are suffering in a similar way, there is comfort in shared grief. 

I’m reminded how, the other year, both Sarah and I lost a beloved pet cat, within a week of each other! That was so weird, and yet that shared sense of loss helped us through the tough time, especially as it happened so close to Christmas.

This year it was both our fathers, passing within two months of each other...but I’ve already written at length about that sad coincidence. I now want to share with you details of this third funeral, that I felt I had to attend, that is worthy of mention here...

As with the three fathers that died at the beginning of the year, forming a group that I will always affectionately refer to as the Dead Dads Club, this third funeral completes a set of three other passings, that started in 2023, when both Brenda and Roma, the original Front of House managers, from the Princess and Festival Theatres, respectively, both died within two months of each other...another bizarre coincidence! Now we have just lost Pat Wheeler, from those early days of the Torbay theatres, who started at the Princess, and became the Box Office Manager at the Festival...I did the reverse, during my 30-year career!

Accompanying me to the Crematorium, on all three occasions, was my good friend, and old boss, Steve, whose father is the third member of our little club, losing him a couple of weeks after mine passed, for it was Pat who actually brought us together...

Back in 1987, I was starting my Summer Season, at the Palace Avenue Theatre, straight out of drama school. Meanwhile, just down the road, Steve was being made the deputy box office manager, at the Festival Theatre, by Pat herself. The following Summer, having moved permanently to Torbay, I also applied for a job in the box office, and, with a little nudge from Steve, apparently, Pat also gave me a job, working my first Summer Season there, which was Cannon & Ball, supported by The Three Degrees. So we all worked together, until she retired on her 60th birthday in 1989. By that time I had been head hunted, by Gay Lee, the then box office manager at the Princess Theatre, to be her deputy, and from there I was promoted to manager, for my first stint in charge...but that is my history...

During the funeral service, the celebrant gave us an interesting insight into Pat’s life (affectionately known by many as Pee Wee-a play on her initial and her surname Wheeler) revealing many details that I personally wasn’t aware of.

After marrying her husband, also a David, they spent their early life together touring the country, running various fairground rides, and other attractions, to the delight of many children, and adults alike. Fans of Paignton Zoo will be interested to know that, for a time, they used to own, and run, the miniature engine that gave visitors the grand tour of the park...with even Pat taking her turn at driving it!

Whilst living in Torbay, her career in box offices began. Firstly, at the Pavilion Theatre, in Torquay, as it was then, before moving along the road, to the Princess Theatre, when it opened in 1961, where Brenda was front of house. Then it was a hop across the Bay, to the Festival Theatre in Paignton, which opened in 1967, joining Roma, who was front of house there, which is where she stayed, eventually becoming box office manager, until retiring in 1989. Sadly, the retirement she had planned with her husband wasn’t to be, for David died a few months later.

Pat remained in the home they shared together, until her death, which just so happened to be down the road from me, when I lived in Paignton, and I always remember the welcome I used to get from her, whenever I visited, especially delivering the annual Christmas card, for she was always keen to hear the latest theatre gossip. 

After the funeral service, we were all treated to afternoon tea, delicious sandwiches and cake, at the Redcliffe Hotel, in Paignton, where we had chance to catch up, and reminisce with our fellow mourners, some of whom had also been given jobs by Pat in the box offices over the years. These remembrances, were assisted by a helpful display of old photographs, depicting many happy occasions from Pat’s home and work life, including one in particular that was taken on the day of her retirement, which has brought back many interesting memories for me...

I’m not actually featured in the photo, for I would have been hard at work in the Princess Theatre box office by 1989, so not able to attend such a function, but on the left-hand end, you can see Steve, all 26 years of him...I know this because, not only did we work together, but also, we share the same birth year of 1963.

Next to him is Roma; two along from her is Jean, who I used to work in the box office with, during my time at the Festival; behind her is Albert, who used to take care of the Palace Avenue Theatre, and whose help and guidance was indispensable, when the group of us struggling actors were left to run the place, for our Summer of ’87 season. In the centre, is a very young-looking Martyn Jenkins, who is still supporting the Princess Theatre from backstage, and if he was ever to leave, I’m sure the building would fall down! Moving along the back row we find Vanessa, who was the council’s entertainments manager, back then.

Not only did she oversee us during our stint at the Palace Avenue, but she was also, partly responsible for me landing the deputy’s job at the Princess. In front of her is Pat, herself, being cuddled by our jovial backstage manager at the Festival, Derek. Finally, lurking in the background, behind Derek, is my mentor, Gay...I would recognise those earrings anywhere! Bless her, she was so keen for me to be her deputy, that she landed me in a spot of bother with the other candidates, insisting that the job was mine during their interviews! I have many fond memories of my time working with her, most of which I couldn’t possibly repeat here!

Sadly, we lost touch, when she left the theatre...the last we heard she had gone to work abroad as a nanny...but I would really love to know what happened to her, and especially if she is still in the area. So if anyone can help put me in touch, please contact me via email davidtiptrips@gmail.com 

The final part of the photo, featured here, shows Pat reclining in her new sun lounger, part of her retirement present, with glass in hand, resplendent in a hat, crafted from a “Farewell Tour” slash, that we used to put across the posters, back in the day. It’s interesting to note that, back then, acts were more aware when they were approaching their expiry dates, and weren’t afraid to advertise the fact...today, not so much...

And so it is, that we have finally said farewell to Pat, having given her a splendid send off, full of happy memories, and, I for one, hope that I won’t be paying tribute here again, to a colleague, or a loved one, for some time to come...

RIP Pee Wee, finally reunited with her David!