Sally Allen: Saying farewell to two special friends

In the last six weeks I have lost two of my dearest friends, friends who have been a constant part of my life for 40 years. 

I know, at my age, one is expected to lose friends and family, but it seems that it is impossible to get through a week now without another tap on the shoulder to remind me of my own mortality.

The two great friends that I refer to are Henry Kelly, the radio and television broadcaster, actor and journalist and Andy Peebles, the radio DJ, television presenter and cricket commentator, and incidentally the last person to interview John Lennon just hours before he was shot dead. 

Both had glittering careers, and both were the most enormous fun, with wonderful larger than life personalities. 

They were 78 and 76 respectively. These days that is not completely over the hill, just maybe tottering on the brink, so still too young to be taken. I am not quite as old as either of them, but I am closing in!!

In the last few weeks, closer to home, my husband has been backwards and forwards to hospital at an alarming rate. 

He is 95 years old later this month, but amazingly I have never ever considered him older than me because we are firmly on the same wavelength and there has never appeared to be an age gap, although obviously there is quite a large one. 

My husband has been a global businessman travelling the world on a weekly basis and has always cut a dash on the tennis court, as well as being an amazing swimmer and dancer. 

So, he has always been super-fit. However, even he cannot hold back the ravages of time – and they are ravages. 

He successfully kept the ageing process at bay until the last few years, when stenosis of the spine has given him very severe pain, which has impaired his mobility. 

However, this last week, we had to add heart failure to the list of ailments. Luckily, with the help of the amazing cardiac team at Torbay Hospital everything is now under control. 

Frighteningly, things would have been very different if the cardiac unit had been moved to Exeter, which I understand is in a potential planning stage. 

Of course, if it should go ahead, it would be a massive backward step for the NHS in Torbay and all its inhabitants. If you haven’t signed the petition to keep this service in the bay, PLEASE sign it without delay. It might save your life.

In times of stress, depression and sadness, good friends and family (if you are lucky enough to have any family left, which I don’t) are the best and only support to help you overcome all the demons. 

In this I am truly blessed. I have the most incredible network of supportive girlfriends who understand everything without me having to make a sound or spell out my problems. 

This is because we all go through the same problems in life and nobody gets out unscathed. The women I know have a natural empathy that can give much needed strength to anyone who is struggling.

I am especially fortunate to have the added support of two amazing men too. Since I moved back to my hometown, Torquay 13 years ago, I have been on the move. 

We have lived in four properties and have recently, and for the last time, moved into our fifth. I hasten to add that every one of these properties was basically gutted and rebuilt from the inside out. 

So, building work has been in progress ever since 2012 and is still ongoing. This might sound like a pretty impossible way to live to most of you, but I love creating things and, most importantly, I have my two ‘angels’ close at hand. 

The sobriquet ‘angels’ is well earned and totally apt. They have literally saved my husband’s life on at least three occasions; they helped me to move my brother around when he was terminally ill with Myeloma and so much more that it would fill a very large book. 

My ‘angels’ have been with me for every one of those 13 years, rebuilding each house that I took on, and being the best of best friends to me. Their work is fantastic, but their kindness and thoughtfulness are ‘out the park’. 

I now think of them as my blood brothers rather than just friends, and they fill a massive void in my life. 

No question that Bette Davis was spot on when she said, “Old age ain’t no place for sissies”.

 It is certainly testing at every level. Mentally, physically and emotionally. This is why we truly have to value, enjoy and celebrate every single moment we have. 

Whatever you do, never put off going to see a friend or loved one because you are ‘too busy’. No doubt you would take time off work or make a special effort to go to their funeral. It is far, far better to meet up with the special people in your life now and take them flowers. 

Flowers are, in my opinion, a waste of money at a funeral, take them to someone whilst they can enjoy them, and you can also enjoy the company of a friend. These memories are all you will be left with at the end of the day, and they are irreplaceable. Never forget that tomorrow just might be too late.

To this end, in May we are having a big party to celebrate being together for exactly 25 years, a couple of birthdays and, most of all, the friendships we have made along the way. 

Very sadly, Henry and Andy will now not be able to join us, but they will always be with me in spirit, and I have some wonderful and hilarious memories. What more can anyone ask for? R.I.P. boys, you will be very sadly missed x