Sally Allen: Dearest Jenni - have a gargle and move on

In life ‘have a gargle and move on’ seems to sum up a lot of circumstances for me. Basically, when life dishes out a few knee tremblers or testing situations, you need to re-group and move forward again, if, and when you can. So, bearing this in mind, what a load of nonsense ‘kissgate’ is. A mother goes to a church on hunger strike and a court case is about to ensue about precisely nothing or anything of any great importance.

Jenni Hermoso was initially elated at winning the Women’s Soccer World Cup, as was Luis Rubiales, Spain’s football federation president, and after the very public kiss planted on the lips (nothing furtive about this exhibition of exuberance), apparently it was followed by much hilarity on the team coach showing the photos of the kiss. Hermoso’s behaviour at the time certainly wasn’t of anyone having a problem with the actions of Rubiales. If she had felt violated, then a swift slap across the chops or a knee in the groin could have dealt with the matter instantly. Instead, up until the time that someone clearly pointed out that there could be some additional mileage and publicity out of calling fault, she appeared to be enjoying the attention of being central to Spain’s winning the World Cup.

This ongoing debacle highlights the ridiculous world that we now live in. A kiss in front of millions of people, even unwanted, is not a cause for a hunger strike, a court case or the mountains of column inches which have ensued. Most importantly, it trivialises the most horrific crimes against women of rape and physical violence of any type. Get a grip Jenni, reach for the mouthwash, and move on.

Speaking of World Cups, I have been involved in a number of Soccer and Rugby World Cups, and more Test Matches than I can count, and passions certainly run very high. In rugby the crowds always appear to have a good time win or lose. There never seems to be the same antagonism that is palpable in soccer. I watched the opening match of the RWC on Friday night and England’s fantastic game on Saturday evening, and it was a joy to see such wonderful competitive and passionate play. I wonder if the winning World Cup captain will get a smack on the lips from a female executive. I bet that would get a roar from the crowd and the captain would be the envy of the rest of the team and he wouldn’t be classed as a victim!

It strikes me that it is all a bit dubious and duplicitous. When I have held events to celebrate different achievements in sport, entertainment and politics, it is normally the women who are not very well behaved and show very little decorum when they meet their heroes. This includes my own mother who was so keen to sit next to the great and legendary Keith Miller, that she nearly knocked him off his walking sticks! If you are too young to have heard of Keith Miller, he was a brilliant Australian cricketer and considered their greatest ever all-rounder. He was also an extremely courageous fighter pilot in WW2. His nickname was “Nugget” as he was the golden boy of sport and with his thick hair flying, looked like a lion when he came in to bowl. Nugget and Denis Compton were the matinee idols of sport in their era.

Through my business and managing Guinness’ sponsorships, I have attended a lot of Rugby World Cup matches. Mostly with Francois Pienaar the 1995 winning South African World Cup captain when I handled and developed his media career, and I promise you, that en masse women can behave very badly when trying to touch, be introduced to…. and, on occasion, much more, to men who have any kind of celebrity. It is the most unedifying sight.

I just don’t understand how men ever get up the courage to even ask a woman out these days. Obviously, sometimes you get advances you don’t welcome or like, but for heavens sake deal with it. Otherwise, some poor rape victim might not get the help they need as the courts are full of the nonsense created by the Jennis of the world. Also, it is not very clever to cry wolf – you never know when you really might need help. So, gargling is the best option in my view.