Norrms McNamara: One battle lost - but not the war

I have said many times that I hate this disease of dementia.

Hate is a word that doesn’t figure that high in my vocabulary apart when it comes to this illness but I can now say, hand on heart, I not only hate it but despise it!

It chips away at your self-worth, self-confidence, makes you question everything you have ever known and learnt.

As it chips away at you, you lose your life skills and how to do the simplest things that comes so easy to others without a thought.

It’s the little things like forgetting how to tie your shoe laces, I now wear slip-ons only, or which way round you used to hold your knife and fork, the time, the day the date and so on.

With some, it happens so quickly that’s the frightening part of this disease. Sadly, some lose their life skills at a very rapid rate, some not so rapid.

I have had this disease over 10 years now. Some call it the long goodbye and I can fully understand why.

But it’s when you lose the skill to do something you absolutely love when it becomes absolutely devastating.

It’s no secret around town as they say, how much I love my fishing, it’s something I believe has helped me keep going even at the worst of times.

I have been so lucky as the majority of carers that took me fishing were wonderful but as the years have passed, I had noticed I was forgetting more and more and even though there were carers by my side, not all were fishermen/women.

So when it comes to remembering how to put the line on the rod, the floats and especially the hook, it just got harder and harder and the last straw was when I forget how to tie the knots!

Well, as any fisherman/woman will tell you, you can have the most expensive gear in the world - all the gear, no idea - but if you can’t tie a knot? Well, you aren’t going to catch any fish, are you? And as much as you try and trust the carer to do so, every time the line snaps or you lose a fish, the feeling is just awful as anybody will tell you.

Fishing is something I have done for years. It has given me so such pleasure and I would recommend it to all to de-stress or just kick back and watch the world, and the wildlife, go by as it’s not all about just the fishing.

I fished at the wonderful Town Parks in Paignton and I have made so many friends up there who have even invited me back, just to sit and chat with them and watch them pull in the incredible 40lbs plus cat fish they have swimming about there.

And who knows, one day I may take them up but it’s not the same as feeling the rod tip bend over and shouting 'fish on'.

As daft at it sounds, I did shed a few tears when I got rid of my fishing gear, and believe me, there was lots of it, but I passed it all on to the wonderful Plymouth British Royal Legion veterans who have fallen on hard times and I've been told it's being used on a weekly basis with great success.

So you see, sometimes you lose a few battles, but I am still convinced I will win the war. I have to be, or what would be the point?

Till next time...