Sally Allen: Times like these are what true friends are for

Those who know me well, know that I am going through a tricky rollercoaster in my life at the moment. These trials and tribulations make you take stock and realise the value of those around you.

Mostly, we are surrounded by acquaintances and friends, and due to my past businesses and lifestyle, I have thousands of people who I know and like very much indeed, but in truth they are acquaintances. True friends are rare and beyond riches, and therefore we should keep them close and treasure them.

When I moved back here around 10 years ago, after nearly 40 years of globe-trotting and living in London, it was amazing to come back to Torquay. All my old friends were still here, from schooldays to when I left in my mid-twenties.

We had shared a lot of fun and growing pains, so the bond is always there. I have been lucky enough to meet up with old school friends who are incredibly dear to me, although with huge sadness I have lost two of them already to varying forms of ghastly cancer.

I still have a small, but hugely important, circle of girl friends in London, and some still in USA, but I can’t get to see them as often as I would like to. Since I have been back, I have been incredibly lucky to have forged new friendships too, some of which are stronger and deeper than any I have been blessed with before. These are forged out of mutual pain and understanding, so are extremely deep, and in my present circumstances are my lifeline to sanity.

True friends can offer a natural support group structure to each other. We listen and try to help when and wherever we can, but we never judge. It is interesting that when you are with very close female friends, you don’t even have to finish a sentence, they get it in a heartbeat. We all have problems in life but sometimes the mountain just seems too hard to climb, but with the support of true friends it is just about possible.

Since my particular problems started around Christmas with my beloved brother suffering three forms of cancer, one of which is incurable, the bottom fell out of my world. Since then, his wife, who was not in good health in any case, ended up in intensive care with a burst colon! My next trip to help look after my brother will also see her return from hospital to a team of carers, as she in now totally infirm.

Managing problems of loved ones from a distance is hugely difficult, tiring and incredibly depressing. But, as I say, I am blessed with incredible friends who have rallied round to help. My ‘Angels’ (the builders Steve and Dave), who I have told you about before, sleep at my house a few nights a week to look after my husband, who is 92 years-old, and my dogs. My dear friend Lyndy Long has provided them all with meals on wheels in my absence, and all of them do it with good humour and give me the support to make my load much lighter.

When I returned from another heart-rending trip on Friday, three friends and I had planned to go to Ollies, the lovely restaurant in Torwood Street, for their special Summer Party dinner. I was so looking forward to it.

We met at the ‘Bit on the Side’ their bar next door, which incidentally used to be my boutique, where we had a large drink to decompress. Then we went next door for a truly sumptuous dinner, we all had fantastic lobster thermidors, and a lot of fun. The Williamson family, who own Ollies, really know how to throw a party, and we also had the joy of the wonderful Daniel Costin on saxophone.

The four of us have all had personal problems over the last few years and we all feel the great loss of our team leader of fun and love, who sadly passed away a couple of years ago, so we raised a glass to her on Friday night.

As true friends do, we lifted each other and had a wonderful time. I now feel renewed for my return to London on Tuesday. So, thank you, Steve, Dave, Lyndy, Tina and Maggie for all your help and support. And thank you Ollies for such a fabulous dinner and atmosphere. We will be back. As Arnie and Boris would say, hasta la vista baby!