Dr Peter Moore: Messages for Santa

I don’t know whether they are in the National Archives at Kew or in the Archives at the North Pole but somewhere there must be hundreds of historic letters to Santa. These would be a gold mine for future historians.
Could the fragment of a jawbone from Kent’s Cavern dated about 40,000 years ago have been from a caveman writing to Santa. “Dear Santa, Please could I have tickets to see the Rolling Stones before Keith Richards gets too old.”
There is evidence of Roman soldiers coming to Torbay. “Our roads are so good there are no potholes. Santa, please ensure that there are never potholes throughout Torbay.”
When Francis Drake lived at Buckland Abbey did he write to Santa? “The Spanish call me a pirate. Please could you open a zoo in Paignton so that I can have a parrot? By the way, I am concerned about my fellow seafarer, Sir Humphrey Gilbert of Compton castle. No good could ever come from someone who went to school at Eton and on to Oxford. As he has just claimed Canada please could you ensure that there is never a Canadian rap artist who steals my name.” Signed, Francis Drake.
When Willliam of Orange landed at Brixham in November 1688 did he write a letter to Santa from Brixham. It took him two days to reach Newton Abbot and so he may well have asked for a decent road from the Torbay ring road to Newton Abbot. It took Santa nearly 330 years but eventually his wish came true.
The records might go back to Charles Babbage the inventor of the first computer with his letter from Totnes. “Dear Santa, Having invented this wonderful adding machine I wonder whether the same machine could have an autocorrect function? Signed, Large Cabbage.”
There is nothing in the new film Napolean about Christmas but I wonder whether he sent a letter from HMS Bellerophon in Torbay in 1815. “This place looks amazing from the ship, just like the Riviera in the south of France. I’d love to go ashore. There are wonderful palm trees. Please could you make sure they are never cut down.” For the last two hundred years there have been rumours that he did go ashore but we will never know unless it is in Santa’s archives.
Perhaps there is a letter from Abraham Lincoln in 1865. “Dear Santa. After a terrible few years with the civil war I just want to relax. Please could I have tickets for the theatre where nothing could go wrong?”
In Victorian times Oscar Wilde and his boyfriend Bosie stayed at the Babbacombe Cliff Hotel. They had a row and Bosie fled to Bristol. I am not sure that it was in Santa’s power to make gay relationships legal or even act as a mediator, but Oscar might have had more achievable ideas. “Dear Santa. I cannot think of a name for my new play. I keep asking for advice from the women of Torquay but they keep telling me that they are of no importance. Any ideas? Also, please can I have a cucumber sandwich.”
And when Isambard Kingdom Brunel was building the line to Devon he made the decision to retire to Maidencombe although sadly he died before moving to the building now known as Brunel Manor.
But when he was working here could he have written to Santa. “Please could I build a breakwater off Dawlish so that the line is never washed away.”
Also, did he ask Santa for permission to build a bridge across the Dart, “Otherwise, Dartmouth Railway station will be the only one in the world without a railway line”?
Was the Royal Mail any better in the past? It is possible that the letter to Santa sent from Kent’s Cavern 40,000 years ago is still in the post.
So what should the Torbay people of the twenty first century ask Santa? Saving Oldway and the Pavilion would be a good start.