Crash survivor forgives friend who left him paralysed after drink-drive collision

A young Devon man who was left permanently paralysed in a drink-drive crash has rebuilt his friendship with the driver through restorative justice - and says he has “never” blamed him.

Seth Marks, from Bere Alston, had just celebrated his 18th birthday weeks before the crash. He suffered catastrophic neck and spinal injuries on 6 May 2022 after getting into a car with a close friend who had been drinking and had smoked cannabis. The car left the road at speed and hit a bank before overturning into a garden.

Seth, who was not wearing a seatbelt, was airlifted to Derriford Hospital, where he was told he would never walk again. The driver and front seat passenger escaped the crash uninjured.  

He said: “I kept asking myself why did I get into the car and why did we crash? But I wasn’t allowed contact with Harry.”

Seth has no recollection of the incident, his last memory being leaving the pub and then waking up in intensive care. Due to the ongoing police investigation, he could not talk to the driver, a close friend.  

A supervised meeting between the pair was eventually allowed. Seth said: “When he looked at me, he just broke down and said, ‘I’m so, so sorry’. Had I been able to move my arms I would have given him a hug. I have never blamed him. I chose to get in the car and I chose not to wear my seatbelt.”

The driver - a close friend, then 22 - later pleaded guilty to dangerous driving and related offences and was jailed for two and a half years, serving 11 months of his sentence.

With no way to speak openly about the crash during the court process, the family agreed to take part in a restorative justice (RJ) programme delivered by Make Amends, a free accredited Devon service funded by the Police and Crime Commissioner.

Through structured online and in-person conversations, Seth and the driver were able to talk through what happened. Seth said the process brought them closer together.

“We’re now best mates,” he said. “Going through something traumatic has brought us closer. We talk about what happened and when we see each other we have a good laugh.”

For his mother Julie, restorative justice provided a turning point.

She said: “It saved me, it really did. It feels a bit like counselling but it’s not. It gives you a voice. It’s liberating and empowering as it puts you in control.”

She added: “The opportunity enabled me to forgive Harry. It gives you a space to say what you need to say. It’s liberating, a relief and empowering as it puts you in control and enables you to move on.”   

Julie now sits on a national lived-experience advisory panel to help improve access to restorative justice for victims.

Make Amends supported hundreds of victims and offenders last year. Service manager Lucy Evans said restorative justice can offer something the criminal justice system often cannot - a chance to be heard.

She said: “For some victims, an apology is irrelevant. They want the offender to understand the impact of the harm and they want to have their say.”

Police and Crime Commissioner Alison Hernandez said she was “in awe” of the courage shown by people taking part in RJ and welcomed its role in helping victims recover.

Make Amends is available for victims throughout Devon, Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly. It can be used across all types of crime including antisocial behaviour, domestic violence, burglary, shop lifting, harassment, hate crimes and sexual offences.  

The project is delivered by Devon-based Shekinah, which provides a range of services for homeless, addicted, socially excluded, and vulnerable adults.  

Seth, now 21, has regained some movement in his arms and hand but remains quadriplegic. He said he is determined to use his experience to educate young people about choices, consequences and the power of communication.

“I might be in a wheelchair but I’m still living my best life,” he said. “I might not be able to use my body but I have a brain and I’ll use that to help others.”

• Non-crime and self-referrals to explore RJ can be made by emailing makeamends@shekinah.co.uk or calling Make Amends on 01803 222033.   
• To find out more about Restorative Justice visit Criminal Justice and You, a multimedia resource for people affected by crime.  
• To access support online visit the Victim Care Devon & Cornwall website at https://victimcare-dc.org/